Skulduggery Pleasant Spoof: Homeward Hellhound
by ValkyrieCain4Ever
Summary: Read Valkyrie's New Pet to know who the characters are! The Hellhounds have accidentally wandered onto a plane and are dumped in the middle of nowhere with no way to get home. With two unable to get along, one scared of the woods, another bent on getting stuck in everything he comes along and one obsessed with mimicking every animal they come across, it may take a while to get home
1. Chapter 1

**So I was thinking about the movie 'Homeward Bound' this morning and I thought that it would be funny if our favorite Hellhounds got lost in the middle of nowhere and had to find their way home! Remember to review!**

Scorch, Omen, Shade, Ebony and Angel trotted up the Dublin airport happily, Ebony and Shade were visiting for the weekend and had decided that they wanted to see a plane take off. So they had walked from Valkyrie's house to the airport.

"Look, the plane's going to take off!" Ebony squealed.

The others topped talking about Skulduggery's hat obsession and looked up to see airport people loading large crates into a small airplane.

"Hey, do you guys smell that?" Scorch asked his sisters and brothers.

"Yeah, it smells like sausage." Angel agreed.

"OH, SAUSAGE!" Shade and Ebony squealed and ran off towards the plane.

"HEY, WAIT UP!" Scorch yelled and took off running after the two, Angel on his heels.

"Wait, what?" Omen turned around from sniffing the flower and chased his siblings.

Shade and Ebony ran right to one of the open boxes that the people were loading onto the plane and jumped in.

Scorch and Angel followed and Omen managed to scrabble in right when the airport employees came over to nail the lid on.

"Sausage," Scorch licked his lips as he looked around at the sausage cargo.

The hungry Hellhounds were so intent on eating the sausage that they didn't hear the lid being nailed onto the box sealing them inside.

The airport people then loaded the large crate onto the airplane and shut the door. The plane started up.

"Uh, guys?" Angel asked suddenly.

"Yeah?" The others looked up.

"Are we moving?"

Scorch gulped down another mouthful of meat. "We are moving through space at a rate of 390 kilometers per second, of course we are moving Angel, I don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that."

Everyone was staring at him.

"What? Mr. Bones is the one who said it, not me."

"'Mr. Bones?'" Shade asked.

"Skulduggery," Angel explained.

"Oh…" everyone said.

"And, I mean," Angel shot Scorch a look. "Are we moving in a way that we physically feel?"

Just then the Hellhounds were jarred by what felt like a large bump. Or an airplane gaining altitude.

"It's the apocalypse!" Ebony screamed.

"We're all gonna die!" Shade cried.

This sent everyone into a hysteria that was only stopped when Omen yelled "WE AREN'T GOING TO DIE!"

They stopped having panic attacks and looked at the black Hellhound curiously.

Omen sighed. "We climbed into a cargo box that was filled with sausages and when we were eating them the airport employees nailed the lid on."

"Oh." Everyone went quiet.

"Also we would be able to survive the apocalypse so there really is no need to panic."

"Right."

The plane's engine hummed and suddenly Scorch yawned. "Sausages make me sleepy."

Ebony yawned. "Me too."

The two curled up and the other three joined them.

Soon all five Hellhounds were in beddy-bye land.

Until they landed.


	2. Chapter 2

The plane landed with a bump that made the five siblings fly up, hit the lid and land in a tangled mess of limbs, tails and fur.

"Hey! Watch where you put your paw!"

"Stop stepping on my tail!"

"Ebony if that's your paw on my face…."

"Get your butt out of my face!"

"Get your face out of my butt!"

Finally they untangled but another bump sent them back into a giant pile.

"Grr…" Scorch growled in frustration as he flicked Ebony's tail out of his face. He pushed himself to his paws, grunting. The others fell off his back and he was about to yell at them to shut up when he noticed our surroundings. "Guys, I don't think we're in Dublin anymore."

"Okay, I may not read that much but Isn't the saying 'we're not in Kansas anymore?" Ebony asked.

"We're from Dublin, remember?" Omen remarked, sitting up.

"Oh right."

"Where _are _we anyway?" Angel asked, looking around.

"I don't know." Scorch started checking their surroundings.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Omen murmured.

"Really? You're ripping off Star Wars now? What's next?" Angel asked.

"We need to head _this _way," Scorch pointed with his muzzle toward the giant forest.

"How do you know?"

"Elementary, my dear Angel."

Scorch started off into the woods, closely followed by Ebony and Shade.

Angel rolled her eyes and followed. "So _that's _what was next."

"Um, a-are you s-sure we should go in there Scorch?" Omen stammered, following more cautiously.

"Of _course _I do. After all, you know what they say: the nose knows."

"They also say to, 'follow your nose.' Ebony piped up.

Scorch nodded. "And my nose says: forest ho!" He jumped happily into the brush.

Angel sighed. "Now we're ripping off the poor pirates, I'm afraid of what we're going to say about Disney." She jumped in after Shade and Ebony.

Omen gulped nervously and took a deep breath like he was going underwater as he followed his brothers and sisters into the forest of terror.

**Okay, I promise the next chapter will be longer. It's going to be their first day in the woods without a survival kit and Omen does not fend well with the forest life... REVIEW!**


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